Overcome shyness and totally boost
your confidence…


Already, by writing this title, I’m sure I’ve annoyed a
few people. Extroversion is supposed to be a personality
trait, not something you pick, but something you were
born with. That might be true. But even if you are fairly
introverted, I think you can still capture some of the
best parts of being an extrovert:

Being comfortable with groups of people.
Meeting people easily.
Having conversations without wondering what to say.



I used to be incredibly introverted. My social life was
lagging behind and I used to blame it on my personality.
While I can’t claim to be an expert in charisma, I have
made big improvements towards the three skills I mentioned
earlier. Best of all, I still get to keep the best parts of being
an introvert, like being able to focus during time alone.
How to Boost Your Extroversion
I found there were a couple of key steps I took that helped
me learn the best parts of being an extrovert,without changing
my personality. Everyone needs to take their own path, but
hopefully by sharing the steps that worked for me, you boost
your extroversion as well.

The most obvious first step is simply to spend more time with
people. If you feel uncomfortable in social situations, that’s
probably because you aren’t in them frequently.
This advice is so obvious it hardly deserves mention, but it’s
a step few decided introverts take on. If you aren’t extroverted
you won’t feel motivated to meet people, and if you don’t feel
motivated to meet people, you can’t become extroverted.
If you feel stuck in this cycle of isolation, I think there are two
main places you can break it. Both strategies work,and doing
both at the same time might be your best option.
Find social activities you enjoy
One barrier that forces many people to be introverted is if
they don’t see any enjoyable social activities around them.
Realizing this was a big step in helping me become more
extroverted. I realized that there were certain events and
groups of people I could be a lot more outgoing with. There
were other people who I didn’t connect with. You won’t
connect with everyone, so finding different groups of people
is a good starting point.
The best way to find new groups of people are through clubs,
volunteering or small classes. Activities with a sign-up sheet.
Although you can meet people anywhere, it’s way easier to
connect with people if you already have a shared interest and
you’re in an environment designed to help you meet new people.
Push Your Comfort Zone Limits
The second strategy to become outgoing is to crush any social
fears you have. Everyone has limits at what they consider too
gutsy. For extreme extroverts, these limits are pushed far back.
For introverts, they might be a lot closer. Pushing your comfort
zone backwards makes it easier to socialize.
Once you’ve gone past your comfort zone, it’s easier to do it
again. Last year, when I moved to a new building, I took the
initiative to go around and say hello to everyone.
This is something that would have terrified me four years ago,
but was only a mild fear at that time.
My philosophy is to do the smallest step possible.
Don’t beat yourself up if introducing yourself to hundreds
of strangers in one day seems terrifying. Build up to it by
slowly picking bigger challenges. The key to this tactic is
to find the intermediate step between what terrifies you and
what you do every day.
Learn the art of talking
Listening is an important skill. It is probably even more
important than talking. However, if you’re in a conversation
and you’re fighting an awkward silence, listening only
magnifies that fact. Another skill to become extroverted is
to be able to talk non-stop.
In practice, you won’t want to talk non-stop. .
But, as a reformed introvert, I can say that the worst feeling
is standing in a group of people and having nothing to say.
Even if you don’t speak all the time, having the ability to do
so gives you a lot more confidence in social situations.
You can get the gift of gab by learning to continue conversations
even when you aren’t sure what to say. Just say anything.
The joy of  introversion
I’ve been promoting the side of being an extrovert, but there
are benefits to introversion. As an introvert, you can get
the benefits of peak productivity while working by yourself.
Solitude is also useful for thinking and creative work, so being
introverted can enhance your other skills.
The ideal way to live is to capture the best of both.
To have the social skills of an extrovert with the quiet
discipline and peace of mind of an introvert. If you can do that,
who cares what a personality test says you are?
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